With us or Against us

“If you are born poor it’s not your mistake, but if you die poor it’s your mistake”. – Bill Gates

We all have different paths, ambitions and goals in life. But being successful is essentially what we all strive for. I am a 26 year old lady. I am working for a great company and earning what I should be earning. Basically am living my best life. But I must admit life has not been a bed of roses.

“Life is never easy for those who dream “. – Robert James Waller

I can say that I dared to dream (negatively) and all I dream about was how I could live other peoples’ dreams. How I could be more like them. This all started in campus. Transitioning from high school to campus was quite a struggle but with the help of my “friends” I got through it.

Friends are a big part of someone’s life especially in campus. My friends used to be involved in all types of “things”. By all I mean everything bad was associated to them; be it drugs they knew where to get it, known by all the bouncers in the hottest clubs and slept with anyone willing to indulge in their ratchet behaviors. They were trying to fit in by copying behaviors of celebrities and other peers.

I for one don’t even know how I got involved with them in the first place, but I told myself to stick around for some time may be they could change. Little did I know how I was assimilating their tendencies. I tried warning them to reduce their consumption of drugs but all those fell on deaf ears. “Ilikuwa kama kumpigia mbuzi gitaa”, there was no response. I was the “saint“ of the group. When they would go to their escapades I would be left behind to catch up with my assignments and read.

As days went by they would invite me to accompany them to some clubs telling me that I would drink delmonte as they had their alcohol and “daily medicine” (bhang).

They told me taste just a sip but I taking few sips of alcohol. A couple of drinks weekly turned to a couple of drinks daily and before I knew it I was hooked. I now started to use all types of drugs there was. They started supported me and encouraged me to continue. As they say bad company corrupts good morals, I had become even worse than my friends. I even engaged in prostitution, I was more than willing to get down and dirty with anyone that was up for it. I had to get money by any means so that I can quench my “thirst”.  This money would come from prostitution which got me the money I needed. That now became my way of life; alcohol, bhang and boys. I became “famous” people both in and out of campus knew me, but for all the wrong reasons.

Years went by, I had become a drunkard “yaani nilikuwa mlevi” I had drowned in my addiction of drug abuse that I went into a state of depression. I had deceived myself that that was the life for me. I could not be able to come out of the addiction. I felt useless and opted for suicide. At the verge of death my classmates found me and I was taken to hospital. Afterwards I saw the importance of life and was taken for counselling and later referred to a rehab.

We are free to choose what path to take in life but we need to be wise enough to know when it is time to flee from a situation rather than wait for it to consume you. As much as we face challenges in life we need to have our own principles so that you cannot be swayed to do things you will regret later on.

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